Woke up curious to see if there was any additional information to be gleaned via next-day soreness. Not really. My abs were sore in an interesting way. Not the external obliques, and now that I look up some anatomy online, I think it wasn’t the obliquus internus, either. Maybe the transversalis fascia!

Deep, anyhow.

Also sore: my traps, in the back, up kind of high. This is pretty much my stress supersite, so not an unusual place for soreness. Surely I have retinaculae like crazy in the supersite.

NO lumbar soreness at all. Nada.

Good news.

Was I still feeling a bit apprehensive as I approached the kapo machine? Indeed. Did I think about skipping it entirely? Yup.

Will the birdie be eagle or bogey??? (Yes, people in my family play golf.)

In UHP, I realized that I was thinking in full concepts very low under the radar. What I mean is that I felt totally focused on breath, bandhas and driste, my mind was soft, and then I heard, deep in the background, a full rationale for skipping the kapo machine this morning. And the whole thought took just a split second.

Whoa, whoa, there, I told myself. What’s the dealio?

Here were the thoughts that tried to slip past my conscious mind in one barely visible bunch:

  • What if you hurt yourself? You didn’t yesterday but maybe you will today.
  • You should listen to your fear; it’s there for a reason.
  • What if it’s not as deep a pose as it was yesterday? Isn’t there such a thing as a rebound effect from stretching?
  • What if you’re making yourself LESS flexible by traumatizing your body?
  • Then there was a quiet: It’ll be okay.

    Nice. At least my subconscious is attempting some positive self-talk.

    So of course I did the kapotasana. I knew I’d be more unhappy about not trying than I would be uncomfortable in the pose.

    I aligned my lower legs and pressed through my feet as a kind of psychological talisman, and went for it.

    And you know what? It felt really good.

    I guess yesterday really was an opening.

    I looked at the floor next to my mat, and had to smile at my new notebook. A Kali notebook.

    And I felt the familiar sense of peace sweeping through me — the sweet feeling you get after meeting a challenge. At 6 AM. In the dark. In your own house. With no one watching.

    LOL! Why do we do this again?


    One Response

    1. hi Karen

      as they say, at least you had an opening and not a breaking.


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