disco chiro, crim week, hijinks, AB mona

T12 pain sensation brought me to investigate chiropractors on the company health plan. I go to chiropractors every couple of years or so, when I need a few sessions to fix whatever I’ve done to myself.

Selected the chiro closest to the office and made an appointment for the next day. Last chiro I went to was not amused that I’d messed up my back by doing a little ricochet fall while rock climbing. Seemed to think I should bag the climbing and schedule twice-weekly chiro sessions to go on into perpetuity. How would it go with the new guy? I wondered.

Well, I guess I’m gonna call the new guy Disco Doc. Why? He’s a smooth-talking fellow who is straight out of one of the upscale martini bars here in Scottsdale. Lots of off-handed, clearly well-rehearsed one liners. Gold chain to indicate alpha status. (Though if you indicate alpha status, you are automatically disqualified. Seriously, that’s the rule. Make note.)

He seemed disconcerted by my explanation of the pain. (“It’s not too bad — I pretty much only feel it when I backbend or put my feet behind my head.”) Suggested humans aren’t meant to do such things. I find this a little distressing. Shouldn’t Disco Doc, of all people, have a deep and abiding respect for the strength and flexibility of the spinal column?

No matter. He cracked my back like a pro, and that’s really all I care about. The nightclub-quality patter can be overlooked. Unless I ever go into an appointment and find him wearing leather pants. If that happens, I’m outta there.

Anyhow, freshly cracked, I presented myself at the front desk to book my second session. “Oh, he won’t be here,” the receptionist said, sadly. “You’ll have to see the other doctor.”

Things are going my way.

***

Yup, so the T12 hurts, and the right piriformis. Primary on Friday wasn’t horribly painful, but I felt distracted by the sensations that just feel odd until I go deep enough to find the painful cream filling. And it was extremely hard to relax in supta kurmasana as Muscle Man pulled the knot of my legs tighter.

Next week is a full week of very early mornings at the office. A number of different conference calls and webconferences and presentations for different groups — all of which start anywhere from 7 to 8 AM. Plus, I have to factor in a half hour to prepare whatever technology we’re using to broadcast. So, yoga practice will be… um, different. As soon as I saw how my schedule was panning out, I told my boss I couldn’t possibly skip practice 5 days in a row. She was quite sympathetic. Suggested I practice at some point during the work day, seeing as I’ll be coming in so early.

I’ve scoured the schedules of some nearby studios and will do a combination of Anusara and Bikram classes next week. Ought to be good blog fodder, for one thing — will also give me a break from the, uh, repetitive stress of Ashtanga, brush me up on alignment (Anusara) and offer some heat therapy (Bikram).

When I first started considering my crim week, I felt like I was betraying my religion. Now I’m feeling pretty excited and amused by the whole idea.

***

Noodled around with handstands and the wall ropes as the puppy took his mid-morning nap this morning. Handstands are sucky since I haven’t been practicing them at all. This is sad, because nothing makes me happier than doing handstands for my own amusement. I really don’t think of them as yoga; much like headstands, they are just things I liked to do even before I ever took a yoga class.

And wall rope hijinks are great fun. Even though I do always wonder about how well the attachments are holding up.

***

May take the puppy over to visit my parents today. They live about 40 minutes away. How much of one of the seats in The Cop’s truck will Tyler be able to eat in 40 minutes, I wonder?

People ask me if American bulldogs bark. Not so much apparently. What they do, though, is moan. This video is a pretty mellow example. He can go on chewing and moaning for minutes on end, getting louder and louder. It’s hilarious. One day, I think I’ll lie under my desk at work with a chew toy and make existential moans like an American bulldog.

Feast your ears.

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9 Responses

  1. I’m so jealous of your personal yoga wall! It looks like you can get a delicious stretch on it.
    Oh, that puppy! I can’t get enough of these little videos you do. The moaning is adorable- much better than barking! I want to rub that little belly so bad!

  2. ps- I feel the same way about headstands and handstands. I’ve always liked the feeling of being upside down and supported with just my arms/shoulders. I’ve been wanting to see if I can walk around on my hands, but I’m not going to DARE do it in the shala, and the only open space at home is outside… wonder what my neighbors would think?
    -Liz

  3. tee hee, you said anusara.

  4. Liz, you should definitely walk around your hands outside. If the neighbors ask, you can tell ’em you’re checking the new grass you planted.

    huh huh huh. I said Anusara. huh huh…

  5. Ok, forget fashion week. It’s crim week at DZM! Oh yes.

    Also, Tyler would prefer his expressions be referred to as whimpering or even grunting. But moaning is a little embarrassing.

  6. Tyler is adorable. Squeeee!

  7. He is such a little dear. And I look forward to reading about your criminal activities….

  8. The hanging padangusthasana thing looks pretty cool — I need to try it.

    I used to go to a chiro who asked that his patients fill out comment cards that included a 1-to-10 relative pain status bar at beginnings of visits and also at the end. I always left that part blank because I didn’t feel I was really experiencing “pain.” The chiro seemed to get exasperated with me because of it — he X’ed the 10s at the beginnings and then X’ed the 1s for the ends of the visits. All I ever wanted was for him to crunch my bones into place. If chiropractors would give up their mystical notions and just satisfy themselves as being bone crunchers the world would be a happier place.

  9. Whoa! He forged your response cards! LOL! I never fill out the pain thing, either. I mean, in the end, even with a tweak, I probably feel a billion times better than people who go there with slipped discs and all that sort of thing. I’m always tempted to say my pain is a “1,” but then they probably won’t take me seriously.

    Yeah, I just like a nice crunching. In this case, I’d prefer to have a chiro doc more than a nightclub doc — but oh, well.

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