Angry but happy

Curious practice this morning. Work is very stressful due to upcoming conference — people are pretty much completely insane and over-adrenalized, myself included. And then yesterday afternoon, two requests from another department set me off.

Which made me insane… or rather, insaner.

I pitched a fit. Well, my kind of fit. All things being relative. People who know me know that my tracking you down to say, “I am really angry about this and here’s why” is pretty dramatic. ‘Cause generally speaking, I’m laid back and happy. It feels better that way.

So this morning, I had all kinds of left over energy in my mind and emotions about being so angry. My mind went around in circles, mulling and mulling.

Know what, though? It was like my body was out of the loop. Flexy, happy, open.

Interesting. I wonder if this is because of the training of daily practice? The body can just do its thing regardless the circumstances?

Whatever. I’ll take it.

I did wonder, the other day, though: if we practice to escape our conditioned existence, isn’t it kinda contradictory to do the same practice day after day? Isn’t it just a DIFFERENT conditioned existence?

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4 Responses

  1. I know what you need! You need an ashtangi coworker so you can go touch them now and then and get yourself centered. I hear it works like a charm.

  2. Hi Karen
    I can’t answer your question, but I feel your my sister. I rarely get angry. I might get crabby; I might get nervous, but hardly ever angry.
    hugs,
    Arturo

  3. In the UK, being pissed actually means being drunk, so your “pissed but happy” header made me think you were drink-and-blogging! 😀

  4. Carl,

    There is not an Ashtangi to be found around here! I think I’ll add that to our job listings: “Wanted: Instructional Designer, M.Ed, 5+ years experience, established Ashtanga practice…”

    Arturo,

    At first, I read your comment, “I feel you, my sister.” I thought, “Gee, that doesn’t sound like Arturo!” 🙂

    V,

    Yeah, I thought about the UK readership, but couldn’t resist a good American colloquialism! It resonates more than “angry & happy.”

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