Laksmi’s Meme

Well, looks like Laksmi’s made the first Ashtanga meme.

LIBERAL

Practice during ladies holidays

Yup.

Have more than one teacher whom they may or may not listen to

I listen to the teacher whose room I’m in.

Give themselves poses

Have always had to. My teacher doesn’t “give” poses. That said, he’s been willing to work with me and help me understand where I should be in the series.

Mix up one or more series together in the same practice

Only to add intermediate poses to the end of primary once it was time.

Skip poses they can’t ‘do’

Nope.

Add poses they can ‘do’

No. OCD, okay? Don’t judge me.

Mess with the number of sun salutations

Three As, three Bs.

Practice on Saturday

Yes, that’s led primary day at my shala.

Practice on moondays and don’t even know when moon days are

Been trying to stick to the moon day observation lately.

Drink water during practice

No.

Quote Tim Miller

Look forward to practicing with him some day so I can.

May drink, smoke pot, shoot heroin occasionally or often

A drink every now and then.

Eat cheeseburgers and donuts

Euww. No thanks.

Do Madonna’s version of vande gurunam

I do the Sharath version silently before my practice. Have the Modonna version as my ringtone, though.

Skip vinyasas in the seated poses

No. OCD. Stop rubbing it in.

CONSERVATIVE

Always listen to their teacher

90-95% of the time. Not sure if the fact that he doesn’t mind whether I do or not affects compliance…

Practice between five and six days a week

Six.

NEVER practice on ladies holidays or on Saturdays

Wow, you conservatives always make me feel guilty.

Take an almond oil bath on Saturday

Seriously? I thought I knew about all the rules…

Eat ghee

Gah!

Get a set of contact lenses, even though they hate them, so that they can have a sharp driste, just like their teacher told them

Not. That was not an edict from Guruji. This question should be under “liberal”!

Never use props

My prop stash at home is pretty impressive.

Never skip poses

Never. OCD, remember?

Never add poses

At least I discuss with my teacher. That counts for something, doesn’t it?

Contact their teacher when they are going to be absent to explain the absence

Yes.

Contact their teacher after the absence to explain the absence

Yes.

Do primary series when they are sick, unless they have a fever

Yes. Why do I feel more lame about my conservative answers than about my liberal ones?

Do the proper, droning version of vande gurunam

If that’s the Sharath version, then yes.

Get to bed real early, skipping opportunities for fun/company/sex so as not to miss practice

My husband is willing to play along and go to bed real early, too.

Are vegetarian

Except when my husband cooks.

Never eat or drink before practice

Wait a minute! The conservatives let you have coffee! Always coffee before practice.

Would never think of drinking water during practice and openly scorn those foolish enough to bring a water bottle

Well, it does look silly. And it puts out your internal fire. But if that’s what you want to do…

Want to throttle people who come in and do that bloody sing-song version of vande gurunam

No, it’s interesting to hear different people do it.

Quote guruji

No.

Keep Yoga Mala by their bed

No. It’s in the yoga room where it belongs.

Know the vinyasa count

Yes. Because Lino’s book is in the yoga room, too, and we’ve already discussed the OCD.

Know all the sanskrit names for the poses

Yes. And the spelling.

Never EVER experiment with a pose they have not been ‘given’ by their teacher

What I do in my free time is my business 🙂

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3 Responses

  1. hey, that was fun. Love the internal fire comment on the water–that’s the first part of my tirade i launch into when that comes up.

  2. it seems I’m becoming famous with this…

  3. “that bloody sing-song version” of the vande is actually a common tune for (sorry no diacriticals) shloka that is written in trishtubh meter (for the first stanza) and shloka written in anushtubh meter (for the second stanza).

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