Returning

Wow, what a weird practice this morning at led. I felt really disconnected — my psyche was all bruised and feeling kind of burnt out (from all the distractions of work and the scary challenges of the high stakes public presentation). My breath was all haywire, too — not at all connected or regular.

I had the feeling, during standing, that my psyche was trying to get back into my body. I imagined my body as those pajamas with the feet in them, and I was trying to climb in but it wasn’t working. Then, during sitting poses, I felt exhausted and like I wanted to lie down and cry or go to sleep.

I knew I left my body any time I got stressed, but I didn’t realize how hard it was to get back in. I also didn’t realize that I also tend to leave my mind when I’m overwhelmed. Weird. What was it that was out there doing work and talking and schmoozing the board members, I wonder? A zombie of some sort?

So the “real me” (whatever I might think that is) was trying to settle back in during practice this morning.

Of course, at the end of primary, VBG launched into the first third of intermediate. “I can’t dooooo this,” I whined to myself. But I did. Finally found myself back inside myself during kapotasana. Grabbing my toes was pretty easy and totally pain free, and that, followed by urdhva dhanurasanas held for 12 breaths each, seemed to get me recalibrated.

Still feeling kind of burnt out, but nothing a relaxing weekend won’t fix. My Gift called and told me she and a friend are looking to do the Grand Canyon rim-to-rim hike. Because I’m done worrying about one thing, so I need something else to be a little concerned about, right?

If anyone out there has done that hike, let me know what you thought of it, okay? My Gift and her friend are not serious hikers, or even recreational hikers, for that matter. They’re just crazy college kids who want to try it out. I’d be really happy to hear that it’s a gorgeous hike, 100% safe, with numerous refreshment stands dotting the route, 24/7 medical personnel, and a shuttle bus that comes along every 15 minutes to pick up anyone who gets a blister.

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4 Responses

  1. it is, it is a gorgeous hike, 100% safe, with numerous refreshment stands dotting the route, 24/7 medical personnel, and a shuttle bus that comes along every 15 minutes to pick up anyone who gets a blister. phew 😉

    i hope everything goes great, no worries 😉

  2. I discovered your blog just recently and I’m reading my way up through the very beginnings 🙂 What an amazing, inspirational, tender way you have about yourself. Got yourself a new admirer. Thanks for being out here.

  3. Thanks, Dro and MM. Though Dro, I’m thinking you’re just telling me what I want to hear. Oh, and I guess the same goes for you MM!

    Happy Sunday.

  4. A really nice, challenging day is the Bright Angel trail down to Indian Gardens and back.

    Also, often Phantom Ranch (at the bottom of that trail) often has late cancellations. They have bunks and a chuckwagon dinner, so no need to carry much down but water for an overnight. She would like being down there by the river at nighttime.

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