I threw together an entry yesterday, then forgot to finish and publish. So I’m doing that now. An entry in all its dashed-offedness…

kwan um school of zen a cult: Someone used these keywords and found my site. It’s a little amusing, because any traditional zendo is the antithesis of a cult. Zen is about experience and practice, so it rules out “going along” with any wacky cult business.

If you’re still out there, person who keyworded that phrase, we can talk more about it.

A Vanda Scaravelli quote that’s making the blog rounds: “You inhale and you exhale. When you inhale, there is that energy, that strength, that comes like a wave and the body follows. It’s a relaxing feeling. Each movement is done with the wave and with the breathing inhale, exhale — you are following the wave, and you become very supple and very elastic, and there are no difficulties. This is important to have in mind when you are doing any sort of exercise and also in life — that you go with instead of against. It’s so simple, too simple to understand. You must only undo. The more you undo, the more you are and the more things come to you. Don’t try to become; you are.”

I’ve had a feeling of undoing ever since I started Ashtanga practice. Undoing my hips/pelvis initially, and my back and shoulders more recently. Very experiential, very hard to put into words. Definitely the place where matter and consciousness intersect. Or, I suppose, if consciousness is the same as matter, but with a higher vibration, then it’s the place where that transformation occurs. I love the idea of a place where both consciousness and matter meet: a kind of permeable tissue where both exist, one turning into the other and vice versa.

And sometimes I wonder if I am undoing too much. Yesterday, for example, when my shoulder crackled — right in the area of the rotator cuff tear I had a number of years ago. Is it scar tissue releasing, or new tears forming? I didn’t have too much time to think, as it was on to the next breath. Gotta strike a balance: I don’t want to be making up problems in my mind, and on the other hand, I don’t want to be negligent of my body.

Soon I forgot about the shoulder, when coming up from upavistha konasana, I felt a strange, slightly burning feeling in the lower quad area (just over my knee). Argh! Knee?!?!

Kept monitoring (obsessively) the sensations in my knee for the rest of practice, but nothing seemed amiss. I’m thinking it was just a strain to the quad insertion, and it feels okay, but I won’t really know until led class today when I try it through all the poses. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that it’s a mild muscular thing.

Dropbacks are feeling more controlled since starting the hanging back exercises. Volleyball Guy has commented on improvements in my back bending the past TWO practices. Woohoo! Getting a comment out of him is like pulling teeth 😉 And wishing for comments is lame, I know. I need a “Please love me” tee shirt with a big-eyed kitten on it, I guess.


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