Heart chakra

For the past couple of days, I’ve been feeling “off.” Just kind of extra-emotional. Actually, probably just normally emotional (generally I’m a pretty stoic gal). Tried to chalk it up to the little cold everyone at work has, and which I’ve been fighting. Then I tried pawning it off on Ladies Holiday.

Then this morning, as I thought, “Gee, I need to buy a milk crate at Target,” I wondered if this emotionalism has been exacerbated by the extra backbending and my generally crim practice behavior. Backbends supposedly “open your heart,” right? Give me a moment to smirk. Okay, I’m back.

If my heart is being opened, it would appear that it prefers to be shut. That way, I can go about my business and practice and go to work and function like a normal person, rather than someone who feels like her skin’s been peeled off. Oh wait ! It reminds me of the Gnarls Barkley song I have stuck in my head:

Even your emotions had an echo
And so much space

Oh wait, there’s even a bit of wisdom in there, too, that likely applies:

Ha ha ha!
Bless your soul
You really think you’re in control

Okay, so I’m just going through a weird emotional space. For whatever reason. Kind of like the pain of learning the supta kurmasana bind. Back then, anyone except a yogi would have told me to knock it off, to give it up. So alright: I’ll buy my milk crate and do my backbends and see where it goes. No going back.

Actually, there was a great little Dogen quote in my reading this morning:

One success is the result of the ten thousand failures.

And then there was a little additional insight from Gerry Shishin Wick:

Those who practice oneness will be released. It’s as straightforward as that.

I don’t have control. It’s kind of scary. There’s no going back. Fine. Carry on. All is coming.

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