On and off the mat

Practice with Sharath’s CD this morning. I am progressively more stressed with the family visiting, and found myself waiting for Sharath to catch up to me during practice. Gosh, how stressed do you have to be to go faster than Sharath?!

I was actually going to go to Saturday led today, just to get a break from my parents, but my Dad is going to meet with a realtor and I need to give him a ride to the other side of the valley for the appointment. Hence the home practice.

Haha! Practice totally felt like a refuge this morning. I was so happy to hear Sharath’s voice and just start the familiar postures. I’ve been working on jump-throughs lately, and they’re coming along nicely (hovering with straight legs just before sitting). Jumpbacks are a work in progress–I still have to push off a bit with my feet, but eventually they’ll get squared away.

It’s been interesting, these past few days. I’ve been feeling irritable, which is something I don’t often experience. It’s rather uncomfortable, and quite tiring. My mom has a childish quality that really bothers me. And she loves to make judgments: everything in the world is good or bad–people, places, objects, events. Yikes! It’s exhausting! I feel bad about the fact that I feel so irritated, but I can’t seem to get past it. I suppose it just is what it is.

I think it bothers me from a feminist perspective: she expects my dad to take care of her, and she also expects to always get her way and have lots of attention. Sigh. I’m gonna have to simply give myself points for being mindful, experiencing this, and not reacting to it overtly (i.e., not acting outwardly irritated). Sort of like a practice that kind of sucks, but at least you got on the mat.

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One Response

  1. Oh gosh, I have a million words about my mom right now…JUDGEMENTAL is definitely on the top…but she loves me…

    As far as Sharath, you must’ve been super antsy b/c his counts are so fast

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