Freedom

A buddha is someone who finds freedom in good fortune and bad. Such is his power that karma can’t hold him. No matter what kind of karma, a buddha transforms it.

–Bodhidharma

Maybe it’s not a good sign that I am sending notes like this to my work email, so I can be reminded when I get there. Nah, it’s fine. I have to find freedom, and I suppose work is as good an experimental ground as any. There seems to be a chance for lots of change at work, organizational change–and as is always the case, when there is a groundswell of energy for change, there is also the drag of inertia. Personally, I love change–but I have to keep my frustration at the resulting inertia in check. And even more so, perhaps I can find freedom in all of the drama.

Practice was so-so this morning. I had a heck of a time waking up, and when I finally did, I was greeted by a stuffed up head. A cold coming on, I figured. But maybe not. Last night a bunch of us met up at Volleyball Guy’s to paint the practice room. Returning Guy, The Other Dave, Chanting Man, Sanskrit Scholar, The British Director, The Contestant and I all taped up the edges and rolled out paper on the floor and set to work. It was Returning Guy, up on a ladder painting the ceiling, who first mentioned how strong the fumes were. Yeah, okay–we had tons of energy and terrific community, but not quite enough ventilation 😉

My Gift joined me for practice and I muddled through, pausing to sniffle and scatter Kleenex near my mat. She did well: the suryas, all of standing, and even a couple of the seated poses (through ardha baddha padma paschimottanasana). Nice work. When she finished her savasana, I commandeered the Manduka. Ahhhhhhhh. I have to get at least one more Manduka. I always have My Gift use it when she practices, because she has joint issues. But I like it, because…well, I could say because I have a bony spine and hips and knees, but it’s mostly just because the darn thing rocks! The Cop could certainly use one of the extra long mats. He’s quite tall, so he’s always off one end of the mat or the other. Plus I guess he’s rather a thrasher–because his mat is all over the place when he practices. One of the long Mandukas would be heavy enough to solve that problem. I have a basket full of mats, but they’re all regular mats, and we have the stone floors. Okay, I think I’ve made my case for a new Manduka. Time to move on 😉

Practice was painful today. My subclavius muscles are killing again, thanks to supta kurmasana. Which is coming along nicely, but starting to feel Pavlovian: when I know it’s coming up, I feel driven to cry or run from the room. It just always hurts, when I rotate my shoulders for the bind. Another arnica week, I guess–and ibuprofen.

Walking down the wall after I do urdhva dhanurasana is adding some fun to my practice. I did five urdhva Ds and then the wall three times. I am amused, I guess, by the kind of scary feeling of dropping back to grab the wall. No matter how many times I do it, I always feel like I’m going to miss. So that will keep me going for a while. It’s a heck of alot more fun than just doing urdhva dhanurasana. Kind of a treat I get for being good and doing my backbends.

Okay, time to get ready for work–where there is good fortune and bad, and the opportunity to find freedom.

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2 Responses

  1. Have you tried drop backs without the wall yet? Using the wall would freak me out honestly. Without the wall, you can just lean back and hang, look for the floor (not worry about crashing in the wall) and reach down. It’s like Julie told me, dropping back is an act of faith – coming up is the issue for most people.

  2. Huh, I’ve just started doing the drop back against the wall (got shown this by the Iyengar guy last monday) and I really like it. I like the wee drop feeling I get just before my hands touch down on the wall. I’m not flexible enough to get to the floor yet so working through this way’s a good help. Hang in there (pun intended) with the practice though and it’ll work itself through!!

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