Home Practice

Lit some candles this morning and skipped the kitchen light. Pretty dark at 5:30 AM, but lovely and easy to listen in to my body, with the visual distraction at a minimum. My hamstrings came in loud and clear. Home practice is such a shifting thing–some days it is very sweet; others, a huge struggle. This morning was a combo pack: the setting was lovely, but my hamstrings/lower back were very sketchy. It’s amazing how an internal experience can feel frightening–after all, how much more “at home” can I be than in my own body? It always amazes me that there can be a challenge in there–a huge challenge. It is somewhat reminiscent of my climbing days: I’d be climbing along merrily, and suddenly something shifts–there’re no holds, or my foot slips, a bat flies out of a crack in the rock–and my body goes into a kind of anxiety mode. Now, in my own home, on my comfy green rug, I can find (or create?) that same feeling in my own body.

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One Response

  1. When you wrote “how much more ‘at home’ can I be than in my own body?” it got me thinking. I think that for me, my body is pretty foreign to me, even though I have been physically active all of my life. Even the fact that we refer to “mind & body” as if they are distinctly seperate entities points to this. I say “I am in my body”…as if my body is a vessel or vehicle for my real self–rather than a part of me.

    So often, when I come to the mat, I think of my body (especially in certain postures) as something to be conquered or controlled. Like I can overcome my body.

    I’ve had a recurring injury in my hamstring, right where it inserts into my pelvis, right under the buttocks, and when it flairs up–I can sense myself actually getting angry at my physical body as if it is an entity seperate from myself…hmmm. Something I will continue to think about…

    Thanks for sparking that.

    I will keep an eye on your blog.–>

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